It's You?
by Wendy McCalister
Summary: It wasn't as if he liked her, but he'd been watching her without realizing it. And it wasn't as if he didn't like her either – no, she was just… too different.
1. Chapter 1

**It's You?**

 **Summary:** It wasn't as if he liked her, but he'd been watching her without realizing it. And it wasn't as if he didn't like her either – no, she was just… too different.

 **A/N:** I actually wrote this a long time ago - about two years ago, I think - but I never got around to posting it. Lol. I think I actually forgot about this fic. Still. I thought that I might as well share this to y'all, even though I still have a tons of other stories to finish T.T So, hope you enjoyed it! (I think my writing skills from back then is better than it now...)

 **Chapter 1**

"Er, hello… I'm Botan Fukuyama. It's nice to meet you."

Those were the first words she said to him.

And for a moment, Kurama Minamino wondered if he was dreaming. That long azure hair, those big amethyst eyes, and that almost too familiar wide grin on her face…

It was _her_.

And he spent another moment praying to god that he didn't have to deal with her too long, before gesturing her to come in. He sighed inwardly, grudgingly cursing himself for agreeing to do this… tutoring.

Yes, that was right.

Tutoring.

He wasn't much a people person in the first place, but his mother had kindly asked him to tutor one of her friends' daughter (since her friend kept pestering her about it). But even if he didn't like people that much, he could still stand them.

But not…

… _her_.

 _Botan Fukuyama._

 _Why oh why didn't he ask his mother who her friend's so called daughter was before agreeing to this?_ He couldn't help but sigh to himself.

And he didn't even look at her as they sauntered into the living room, knowing that by the soft padding of her footsteps behind him that she was following him.

It wasn't as if he liked her, but he'd been watching her without realizing it. And it wasn't as if he didn't like her either – no, she was just… too different.

The first time he saw her was when she was barely holding a mountain of books in her hands. At first, he thought that she must've been a nerd (something like him), but then, he realized that wasn't the case. He saw her _smiling at her friends saying it was no big deal_ , and he'd realize she was _helping them out_. And he couldn't help but wonder, what sort of person she was, willing to help her friends, even to the point of carrying their books _and they didn't even help her back_. That was when she piqued his curiosity, and he'd started watching her.

It wasn't even about a week later, when Kurama asked if Yusuke knew who she was. Then, he found out her name was Botan. Yusuke had thought that _Kurama_ liked her, because he never asked about girls, and the redhead didn't even say anything even as Yusuke teased him about it. He just stood there, staring at her back as she was – once again – buying food for her friends, struggling to keep all of the food in her hands as she jogged back to class.

He'd been watching her ever since.

From feeding the fishes in science lab when no one was looking, taking care of the stray cats behind the school – again, when no one was looking, doing everything for her friends even when they never thanked her, much less did anything for her, to helping random strangers at the park.

Yes, at the park.

It wasn't as if he'd been stalking her, no, that wasn't it. It was because he had bumped into her, trying to help a mother look for his son who got lost. Maybe it was a coincidence, or maybe fate was toying with him, practically telling him to watch her again.

And again and again, he did.

And before he realized it, he was 'strolling' at the park every day, just sitting on one of the benches, one arm on a knee, and a hand under his chin as he watched her.

And it wasn't as if he liked strolling at the park in the first place, too.

Then, he noticed another thing about her. That she _never_ notices anything bad about anyone. _Never._ She never badmouths people, maybe because she only saw the good in them. But that was just it, even if she did notice their weaknesses, she never and he means, _never ever ever,_ cared about it. She was one of those people, those people who say, " _Everyone makes mistakes, no one's perfect._ " But she was much more than that, she was _kinder,_ it was as if when she saw someone on their worst behavior, she never acted like it bothered her. She just ignored it.

Like, all the time.

And he knows that, because he'd been watching her for as long as he could remember. For instance, when Juri, one of her friends, started going on about her boyfriend _who was such a dick_ , and saying about she's cheated on him more than once, she just stood there smiling. _Like an idiot._ Acting like it was the most normal thing in the world.

And, if anyone ever talked bad about her so called 'friends' who were less than nice to her, in Kurama's opinion, she would always – _always_ – back them up, even when she knew they treated her like some sort of slave. Even when she should've known those kind of friends wouldn't even think twice, to stab her in the back.

And maybe she was an idiot.

Or maybe, she was just too kind for her own good.

Maybe, she was both.

That was why he _couldn't stand her._ Do you know how it feels when you wake up in the morning and the sun shines so brightly through your curtains that you feel like it's trying to blind you, like _trying to fuck you in the face_?

That was exactly how it felt like when he was watching her.

Like, looking at her, was enough to blind him. Because the light of her pureness was just too bright. She was too kind, too nice, too dense. Too… different than him. She was everything he wasn't. He was the exact opposite of what she was. If she was the light, then he was the darkness. And she was trying to light up that darkness inside him. But, that was the problem. _He didn't like it_. He liked being _dark_ , he liked how distant, untrustworthy, and arrogant he was from everyone else. He didn't like her _too kind, too accepting_ behavior; it was like watching a mirror of his old self.

Being too nice to everyone wasn't going to get you anywhere. It wasn't going to give you anything. People would only betray you, as a result. They would take advantage of you, pretend like you're their best friend… because _that's just how people are_.

And now, watching her… almost made him feel _bad_ about himself.

And he wished that maybe at some point she'd say something like, " _Oh, wait, I think I don't want to do this tutoring thing,"_ or anything like that, because god, he just wanted her out of here.

But when he saw her put her books down, sat across him, and smiled that big smile like she always did, _her pureness practically radiating off of her, and her light blinding him through the darkness_ , he knew there was no turning back.

It has begun.


	2. Chapter 2

**It's You?**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, of course.

 **Summary:** It wasn't as if he liked her, but he'd been watching her without realizing it. And it wasn't as if he didn't like her either – no, she was just… too different.

 **Chapter 2**

"How do you do this?"

Botan asked, leaning in ever so slightly, with a pencil pointed to the question she couldn't understand as she showed the book to Kurama.

"Hmm, well this…"

Kurama started explaining, and as he finished, he watched as the girl bit her lip and stared at the solution he wrote for a while, as if trying to understand and his head raced with a thousand thoughts. One of them was that how weird it was, that even after all those times he thought he couldn't stand watching her, he still did it. Like, he was _drawn by her_ , and no matter how hard he tries to stop, he never succeeds.

And, for a moment, Kurama actually feels like a stalker.

Of course he would, he's been watching her for what, _two months_ , and she doesn't even know him. The only thing she probably knows about him is that he's famous at school, but who doesn't know that? Plus, considering how unbelievably oblivious she was, she probably doesn't notice that fact about him anyway.

But, it was weird that he was suddenly feeling uncomfortable about this. Like watching her even when she doesn't know him, and probably thinks this is her first time meeting him, was _inappropriate_. And maybe it was, too.

Maybe it's just the effect of having her in his house.

 _In_

 _His_

 _House_

A part of him still found that hard to believe, and hoped that he was really dreaming. But then, when he pinched his cheek, it hurt, and he knew that he wasn't.

Then, all of a sudden, Botan looked up from the question she'd been staring at, just in time for him to turn away, as if he hadn't been staring at her all the time. His ears were burning hot from embarrassment, and as he was about to go up and make and excuse, she suddenly said,

"Thank you, Kurama-kun," and she smiled, "I've been struggling with these types of question for god knows how long," she giggled slightly, "but thanks to you, I think I finally get it now! No wonder my mom kept bothering me to accept you as my tutor. You're amazing!"

And usually, he would've felt proud when people showered him with praise, but he just blinked, his eyes wide, as he stared back at her amazed… and slightly bewildered (?) face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she inquired, tilting her head to the side with one eyebrow arched at him. And he's seen her do that around her friends a million times, but this is the first time she'd make that face to him, and he could've sworn _his heart did a flip_.

Blood rushed to his cheeks, and he put a hand under his chin, his fingers lightly grazing over the soft skin of his cheeks to hide his embarrassment. He looked away, clearing his throat before replying, "N-nothing. I'm just not used to getting compliments."

And Botan frowned her sweet little face, and he wanted to take her arm, drag her, and push her out of the door because god, did she know how innocent she looked like looking all confused? _And he didn't like innocent looking faces, not one bit_. "That's weird. I mean, considering your reputation at school, I'd figured that you were already used to that kind of thing."

Then, just like that, all thoughts of kicking her out vanished. And he turned to look at her with a surprised look in his eyes. "What? You know me?" he asked before he could stop himself.

"Of course I do. Who wouldn't? Only an idiot would go to school with a famous person for almost a year, hearing people talk about him here and there, and doesn't even notice him," she said jokingly, but her words hurt. The moment those words escaped her, it felt like a snake was coiling around his heart.

Because, that was what he thought of her.

 _An idiot._

 _But a nice, innocent idiot,_ he added in his thoughts, and inwardly shook his head. "I guess you're right," he mumbled.

"I can't say the same thing goes for me though. I mean, I've noticed you before. A lot of times already, actually. But you've never noticed me, I guess. I mean, I'm sort of just a peasant there. And you're sort of this king everyone worships," and she laughed, because she doesn't know, _she doesn't know how long he'd been watching her_.

She said she'd been noticing him a lot of times, but did she know how many times he has watched her? Just staring at her until she was finally gone from his sight? Did she notice that? And for a moment, he wants to say, _I'm the one who's been watching_ _ **you**_ , but he bit the inside his cheek, trying not to let the words out even though they were threatening to come out.

"Putting that aside for now," he started, after a few moments of awkward silence, "tell me more… um, about yourself." It was weird asking her this question, because he'd been watching her long enough to notice a lot of things about her. How she stays away from fire, how she giggles when she sees something cute, or how she has this habit of licking her lips when she's hungry.

"Well, I don't know where to start," she said unsurely, furrowing her eyebrows and tilting her head to the side, her eyes darting towards the right, and he knows she's thinking. Thinking of what to say.

 _One of her habits._

"How about this? I start first, and then you follow," he suggested, before putting away the hand that had been under his chin, changing his position, now sitting Indian style as he stared at her, looking straight into her eyes. "I'm from Osaka, just moved here, to Tokyo, from there last year. I like anything red, reading books, gardening, but I _don't_ like people, smelly things, and especially loud noises."

She furrowed her eyebrows for a moment. "What do you mean you don't—"

And he raised a finger as a signal for her to be quiet. "Questions later. It's your turn now," and he doesn't know why he's so eager to hear her tell him about herself, _maybe it's because of the way her face brightens up when someone shows interest in knowing more about her._

And her mouth opens and closes like a fish. And he resists the urge to just _stick his fingers in there_. And it takes her moment, but then her face brightens up, the way he knows it would, "Well, I was already born here, never moved away. And I like cute things, eating, and helping people, but I don't like… um, maybe… insects? Yeah, things that crawl. And water, too. I don't know how to swim, so I'm scared all the time that I might drown. And fire, yeah, fire. Because I once got my hand burned when I was a kid, I was stupid at the time, playing around with fire, and thanks to that, I'm totally traumatized and I turn into a little girl everytime I see fire," she said, smiling as if talking about things she was scared of, and explaining _why_ , didn't have an effect on her. Maybe it did, but she didn't show it.

 _Just another thing about her he didn't like._

And then, all of a sudden, she added, "Hey, did you count how many times I said fire? I mean, I think it's five if you counted the one in this sentence," like it was normal to do that. _Because that was a thing about her: she talks so randomly no one knows what to expect_.

And, watching the way she shined, her light shining through his darkness, lighting it up bit by bit, and this time he doesn't pull away. He doesn't try to fight, doesn't look away. Because he _can't_.

 _I know._

 _I already know all those things about you._

He wanted to say.

And the words left him before he could even stop them, "I know," he had muttered, almost inaudibly and when he did, his eyes widened, red coloring his cheeks once again when he realized he just blurted out his thoughts. And his breath was caught up in his throat, and he didn't even realize it.

 _Why is it that I lose control so easily around you?_

But she doesn't notice, doesn't hear it. And he knows, because she arches her eyebrow again, tilting her head again. _That bloody habit of hers_ _when she's confused._

That was when he finally let out a sigh of relief, the breath he'd been holding on to finally released.


End file.
